David Niven convinced director guided own funeral

Late in 1959, David Niven got a call from Edmund Goulding's sister saying the director had died and wanted the Oscar-winning actor to be one of his pallbearers.Niven, in his 1975 book "Bring on the Empty Horses," described the hefty MGM director's funeral at Forest Lawn Glendale, the same hill-rich memorial park where Michael Jackson is scheduled to be buried Thursday.Goulding's funeral turned into quite a production.The Goulding family chose a heavy, thick black mahogany coffin with solid brass fittings. Niven said they were told the plot was shaded by pines and "blessed with a beautiful panoramic view of all Hollywood."The casting of pallbearers, as Niven called it, included him; actor Herbert Marshall, who had lost one leg in World War I; actor Reginald Gardiner, who could only use one arm because the other was mangled when he fell from a fire escape while chasing actress Hedy Lamarr; diminutive Mae West director Al Hall, who could barely lift a scotch and soda; and a business manager so large he was sweating profusely and wheezing loudly in the church before the funeral even started.The sixth man was a giant of a fellow no one seemed to know.After the service at Wee Kirk o' the Heather church, the hearse delivered Goulding's body to the bottom of a hill and the driver advised them they had carry the casket about 300 yards over the brow of a hill.Marshall bent over, making adjustments behind the knee of his artificial leg. "Just shifting into 'climb,'" he explained."The men hoisted the casket onto their shoulders. The businessman dropped out first, his color turning sap green as he retreated to a gravestone. Hall, whose fingertips had barely grazed the bottom of the coffin, dropped out next. The giant encouraged, "It's only another 20 yards — we can't let him down now."Niven wondered who would be next, him with a hangover, Marshall with his leg or Gardiner with his arm. Ten yards from the top, Marshall and Gardiner bailed together, forcing them to set the coffin down.Unable to get it back on their shoulders, the giant took the front while Niven and a recharged Hall took the back. Hall's feet slipped, and his jaw slammed with the casket. He remained conscious and they reached the pine needle covered summit. The family waited graveside about 20 yards down the other side.Hall started down to speak to the minister but the casket started down too. Muscle Man fell, leaving only Hall to save the day. He laid on his back in Goulding's path, bent his knees and used the soles of his shoes "like buffers at a railway terminal." The impact moved him several feet, but he held and the director was delivered intact."He had a wild and wooly sense of the ridiculous, and I am convinced that from some private Valhalla he directed his own funeral," Niven wrote.